A glimpse into the life and mind of Kazzart
I’m outie
Hey everyone. Just a quick note to say… farewell Sydney!!!!!!
more » Posted on Friday, May 6th, 2005 | 5 Comments »Stress stress stress!
Am sitting here on my laptop in an attempt to try and relax and destress before going to bed. I’ve never been so stressed and worried and.. feeling so overwhelmed… in my life. I have so much to do and so little time… and I keep forgetting things. Argh! Plus I’m trying to pack my life into a 20kg suitcase (ok maybe I can push it to 30kgs). This whole packing thing… ugh…. it’s weighing really heavily on my mind. I think once I’m done packing.. I’ll feel HEAPS better. I hate things like this hanging over my head… I’m so worried I won’t get it done in time. 🙁
Plus there’s a crapload of other things I need to do too. I’m going into the city tomorrow to run a “few” errands…. and ended up coming up with a huge list of things that needed to be done:
- Get photocopied docs signed by JP
- Chiro/remedial massage appointment
- Lunch with friends (and return dvds to friend)
- Go into work to pick up reference letter from boss and drop off swipe access card
- Visit Vodafone store to change to a “no plan” plan (in order to keep my ph number and not pay monthly payment)
- Go into Westpac branch to pick up credit card
- Go into Medicare branch to get medicare refund
- Go to Virgin Music to use gift voucher farewell gift from work mates
- Go to RTA to get international drivers license
- Go to Fitness First to 1) have a workout, 2) cancel gym membership
- Meet friends for another farewell dinner
And thats just for tommorrow – which doesn’t include packing. Ack… hope I have enough time to do all that.
*sigh* Can’t believe I’m leaving this Friday…. I’m actually excited about flying off… coz I love planes! And about getting there… being in London! 😀 I just hate this whole organising and packing business. :\
Ok. Enough ranting. Time for bed! Just hope I can get to sleep… and not think about everything that needs to be done. Geez I’m not handling this stress very well am I…
Current listening :: “End Of The Road” – Boyz II Men
more » Posted on Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005 | 9 Comments »Procrastination + Ice Cream
With everything that I need to prepare, organise, think about, remember, pack…… I find myself wasting time being silly on cam. As you can see below. 😛
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(Oh btw, it was Cookies & Cream heaven. Mmmm…)
Updates & More Ruminations
I’ve been enjoying my “holiday” thus far. No work to go to! It feels kinda strange. I am actually unemployed. (Well.. almost). Anyway, I had quite a big weekend – went clubbing on both Fri and Sat nights! Kicked it all off seeing The Cat Empire @ Enmore Theatre on Fri night (a very fun and energetic gig.. great band to see live!) with Joe + friends (*waves* hello guys if you’re reading this!), then went to Newtown RSL after for a drink.. then whilst they headed home at around 12/1am, I chugged off to Verandah Bar to join some friends for a few hours of clubbing, finishing off the night with some Matraville pies, arriving home at around 5am. :\ H4rdc0r3.
Saturday night I went to the 2nd Honey Roasted TV dance party at Greenwood Hotel. Was great! (Though I started the night practically falling asleep on my friend’s shoulder.) One of my friends won the dance comp and scored himself a free Nokia phone! Sweet! Anyway, I got into the swing of things eventually and had myself a ball of a time, dancing away. I made it an “early” night however, leaving at 3am. Spent the rest of the long weekend starting to get stuff together for the move. Oh yeh, and Sunday was my last time playing piano at Evening Service *sniff*.. *sob*. It was great playing with Sam and Andrew for one last time… it went well and I think we sounded pretty good. 🙂 I’m gonna really miss playing with those guys – it takes time to form the bond we had when we played together… almost like we could read each others minds. *sigh*
Other than that… I got so much to do. *sigh* It’s a bit stressful thinking about it all actually. For a few seconds tonight, I caught myself thinking that I didn’t want to do this whole moving over to UK thing anymore coz it just seemed like too damn much hassle. But I got over that quickly enough. It occured to me though, that is probably not the only time I’m gonna think along those lines. Ah well… must chug along and be strong. And not do stupid things like keep going to bed at 2am. Err… *cough*
This whole being strong and independant thing is kinda tough. I’m not used to it. I’ve never been a very independant/strong type. I’ve always kinda needed someone to take care of me… be it parents or boyfriend. And now, I’ve been struggling to remain strong.. in the whirlwind of events that my life has become. First the change of suddenly being single after 6 years of 3 long-term (and rather exclusive and close) relationships.. and then the huge step to move to London. (Was I crazy when I made that decision? Hehe.) *sigh* Sometimes… in times of quietness and aloneness.. I do wish I had someone to lean on again.. like I used to. (Esp going through this whole moving thing.) I can vaguely remember what it was like… for some reason it seems so long ago. And I can only vaguely remember what it was like to be in love. But I prefer not to ponder upon that one too much at this time. It is not something I am looking for at the moment.
Ack. Late night ruminations. Am getting maudlin. Methinks it is time for bed.
Current listening :: “Sly” – The Cat Empire
more » Posted on Tuesday, April 26th, 2005 | 5 Comments »I’m outie
I have finally finished the day, the week, the year, my time here at work. Woooohooo! Had a lovely farewell lunch with my team mates and boss (who paid for my meal ;)) and am now heading off to a relaxing 1 hour remedial massage before going to hiphop class tonight, and then having some yummy japanese at Ramen Kan for dinner afterwards with a few friends to celebrate. Ah life is tough. 😛
more » Posted on Thursday, April 21st, 2005 | 3 Comments »Miscellaney
Hm.. so whats new.
- Got a hair cut and colour.. same long style with layers, with a fringe again… but I got red-violet streaks and a violet/mahogany semi permanent through the rest of the hair. Hee! I likey! 🙂
- Got the new Ben Folds album “Songs For Silverman” (special edition).. It totally RAWKS! And the DVD is awesome too! Highly recommended! I am in such a huuuuge Ben Folds phase at the moment… he’s all I’ve been listening to since the gig…. it’s getting dangerous… bordering on obsession. Heheh.
- Got my webcam working at home! Woohoo! Hehe now I can use cam with MSN… heehee. And also got my laptop connected on an extended cat5 cable.. which means I can sit in the lounge room and watch tv WHILST on the net. Yay.
- Me = sick. 🙁 Got a minor cold due to lack of sleep last week… culminating in a hard night of clubbing at R&B Superclub (Fox) on Friday night. My own fault.. I knew it was gonna happen if I had a late one on Fri night… ah well.
- Only 2 & 1/2 weeks left now! And I finish work in 2 days time! Argh!! Man its all happening… all so close!!! Preparations are moving along… I’m gonna use the 2 weeks I have off to clean out my entire room and pack. Other than that, I’m just getting my documents organised. Accomodation and airport pickup in London is set and good to go. Yay. Ooh and I saw my cousin’s baby daughter on webcam last night. She is adorable. 🙂 I’ll post a piccy of her if I can find one, or when I’m over there. 🙂
- Still single.. and still lovin it!! I think for the first time in my life… I am truly loving my singledom. Is that an achievement or what! 😀 If I were not single.. I would not have met all the people I’ve met thus far.. made friends with lots of wonderful people… experienced all the things I’ve experienced, and have yet to experience… and of course… I wouldn’t be going over to London in 2 & 1/2 weeks time! I suppose in a way, I have Paul to thank for this. 😛 Hrm.. hope I don’t become *too* happy being single… might find it hard to settle down… hrmm
- Have been (slowly) chugging my way through “Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People”. Its been quite an interesting and mentally stimulating read. I might post a few excerpts later.
Anyway. Am deciding whether to go to the gym tonight or not? Decisions decisions…. I’m not feeling too bad actually, coughing a little, but I’m not that sick. I am a bit tired though as I slept late last nite and Sun night. Hrmm. Ok. I think I will go. Body Balance class will be good for me…. I need to stretch out these muscles.. esp my shoulders and neck.. ugh. And the steam/sauna room will be soooo goooood. 🙂
Current listening :: “Learn To Live With What You Are” – Ben Folds
more » Posted on Tuesday, April 19th, 2005 | 5 Comments »Prison Food
We walked the earth
We talked and never spoke a word
She wonders who will be the first to go
I said you know
The biggest things we gotta face alone
Don’t wanna when it’s time to go
Alone
Alone again
A trace of me
That floats in my periphery
And every time I turn to see
It goes
Alone
Alone again
Floating by like a satellite
To pass the time
You’ll float by again
And I can tell you about the little things
So you don’t think about the big things for a while
We walked the earth
We talked and never spoke a word
She wonders who will be the first to go
Alone
Alone again
Alone
Alone again
Current listening :: “Prison Food” – Ben Folds
more » Posted on Sunday, April 17th, 2005 | 1 Comment »Ruminating
I think I think too much. Hrm. And I used to think that thinking a lot about things was a good thing… but now I’m thinking that maybe thinking too much is not such a good thing all the time. Er.. make sense?
Or maybe it just depends on *what* I think about. I suppose it’s unhelpful to frequently ruminate on the negative aspects of your life… you dwell on these things and you end up spiralling down into this depressive cycle. And listening to depressive music doesn’t help either. Neither does dreaming depressing things, but I guess you can’t really help that. I was reading this website on depression, and the link between depression and sleep/dreams, and that perhaps medication wasn’t the answer.. it was interesting – (I’ve always found psychological matters interesting). Clicky here to check it out… and can any psychologists tell me if what they’re saying is valid or total crap? (Erm not saying that I have “clinical” depression or anything, but I do know people that do.. I wonder if this would be helpful for them?)
Anyway.. so how does one stop negative thoughts from over-running their mind, and prevent themselves from going into that depressive cycle? Is it as simple as “getting over yourself” and ceasing being so “selfish” and “self-centred”.. to look around and not be so inward focused? Or is there more to it…. is it not right that someone gets easily triggered into feeling depressed due to feelings of loneliness / feel they are lacking friends? Should that person just learn to become more “independant” and not rely so much on others to fulfill that need for companionship? How much is too much reliance? And then… where does God fit into this picture? Does God really solve all these problems? Does it mean you’re not trusting God enough? Is that really where the core of the problem lies? Or is it more complicated than that?
Um.. I’m starting to lose my train of thought. I think this calls for a –
/rant
I think I need to stop being so honest on my blog. And I think I need to stop thinking so much. 😛
B-Fo Obsession
In other news. Ben Folds absolutely ROCKS! I bought his new album (which I’m really loving!) and found a few rare B Sides on mp3. My new fave songs of his are:
- Hiro’s Song (this song is AWESOME and the lyrics are hilarious, I think its a B-Side from Rocking The Suburbs – Jap version)
- There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You (Sunny 16 EP & live version on Landed B Side)
- Emaline (Ben Folds Five song, from Naked Baby Photos – but I prefer the live version on Ben Folds Live)
- Trusted (on the new album)
- Learn To Live With What You Are (Sunny 16 EP)
- Landed (new album)
- Gracie (new album – very cute song.. funny lyrics too :))
Heheh err ok thats a lot. I admit it… I’m in a huge Ben Folds music phase at the moment. I’ve even been (attempting to) play some of his stuff on piano. Man its friggin hard. But fun! I’ve kinda succesfully managed to play “Army” – but those triplets are soooo fast. My left hand seriously cannot keep up. And as for Zak and Sara.. forget it!! Emaline is getting there though.. I quite enjoy playing that one.. it’s a great song! Hm I should go find some more tabs/charts.. I wanna learn to play Where’s Summer B… and One Angry Dwarf.. and more!
Current listening :: “There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You” – Ben Folds
more » Posted on Wednesday, April 13th, 2005 | 2 Comments »Ben Folds Fotos & Bootlegs
At least one of us had the sense to bring a camera to the Ben Folds gig. Many thanks to Janet for these pics. (ARGH I’m still kicking myself over not thinking to bring my digicam… oh the videos I could have captured!!! *sob* See the photos and you’ll understand my anguish.) Note that these pics were taken with the good old fashioned film camera – no zoom!! We were *that* close!
And as usual dear old benny lived up to his usual antics of playing choir master with the crowd. Whilst standing on top of the grand Steinway & Sons piano, I might add.
A couple more pics can be found in my gallery.
Oh and a special treat for any Ben Folds fans. Someone has kindly uploaded mp3 bootlegs from the Enmore gig on Sat night (I was at the Fri night one). Clicky here to download. If this link goes dead, I’ll upload a select few myself. 🙂 You have to check out his Dr Dre cover “Bitches Aint Shit” and “Popcorn”. Classic!
Current listening :: “Zak And Sara” – Ben Folds (Live @ Enmore 2nd April 2005)
more » Posted on Wednesday, April 6th, 2005 | 5 Comments »It is DONE!!!
ARGHHHH!!!!!!
I’ve just resigned at work. 😀 😀 😀
ARGHHHH!!!!
It went very well, if you’re wondering. A very friendly and amiable parting. I told him that I was going to London, and he encouraged it – said he wishes he could do the same! Hehe. We talked about the admin details (coz I wanna take all my leave before I quit so I get the annual leave loading… haha such a tight-arse asian I am). And yeh, discussed my farewell lunch etc. Oh and best of all, he’s gonna write me a letter of reference, even though my company’s policy is that they don’t do formal letters – with the company letterhead on them, he’ll write me one personally. 🙂
ARGHHHH!!!!
Such a relief and load off my chest. Man. I’m so excited. Or maybe thats just the coffee kicking in. 😛
Phew. Now… next on my plate… really need to get all my crap together and start packing! Only 4 weeks and 4 days to go! I can’t believe this is happening. It’s still all sinking in. ARGHHHHH!!!
[Edit:]
Oh yeh, I’m also gonna be throwing a par-tay. At my place. You’re all invited. 🙂 How does Saturday 30th April sound? Either that or Saturday 23rd April.
Current listening :: “Come Fly With Me” – Michael Buble (Hehe.. how appropriate!! :D)
more » Posted on Monday, April 4th, 2005 | 9 Comments »YART
Stands for: Yet Another Recycled Thread. Perhaps YARQ would be more appropriate in this case. Yet Another Recycled Quiz. 🙂 But this result did seem kinda scarily accurate.. in parts.
The intelligent loner
You’re shy at times but friendly, and you are never weak and always independent. You are incredibly intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a talent for many things (sports, music, art). You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy the simple things. Like hanging out with friends and watching movies at home. But your sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just can’t seem to break into the crowd and be noticed. Don’t worry, try to be more outgoing and speak out when you have more to say. Don’t hide behind your books and sports and computer, get out there and get noticed. You also have deep desires in life and feel vunerable and alone at times. Don’t feel sad. What helps me to express feelings and dreams that I can’t say to people, is through my writting. Maybe you should try.
What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Current listening :: “The Sound Of White” – Missy Higgins
more » Posted on Sunday, April 3rd, 2005 | 10 Comments »