My Blue Heaven

NOoooooooo!!

We’re out. :((((( End of the socceroos in the World Cup. *cries* That last penalty was so unfair. Grrrrr.

Just alright

I find it mildly annoying when people ask me how I am, and I reply with an “I’m alright“, to which they reply somewhat disbelievingly “Just alright?” or even more sensitively “come on go harder“. What the?

<rant>

Yes. I am “just” alright. Not great, not fantastic, not even good. I can’t honestly say that my life here is great. Coz its not. I’m not “livin it up” and “partying in london” as lots of expats from Australia seem to. I don’t know why my experience seems so different. Why I’m not “loving london” like all the other Aussies seem to. Ok, maybe I’m not all that different and I just don’t know about the people that are struggling too. But maybe I am different. Maybe its because I have different expectations in life. I don’t find my happiness in going out and getting drunk and partying at bars and pubs. In fact I find that totally boring and pointless. Clubs I don’t mind because dancing is involved, but I *still* haven’t gone clubbing here.. prob because I can’t afford it. Which brings me to this.. perhaps its due to financial restrictions. I don’t have much money these days (due to factors that I won’t go into), and that makes life quite hard – esp here in London. London is great fun… if you’ve got money. It’s a struggle to meet all the bills and rent and groceries and transport costs etc. I suppose if I had lots of money, my life quality might be different. But then, isn’t that being materialistic? I guess.. but I think that sort of judgement is easier to make when you do have enough money.. say when you still live off your parents, or even have moved out but are happily married with 2 decent incomes. But when things start to get harder.. it becomes.. not such an easy thing. Of course in the grand scheme of things, yes yes, I’m still quite lucky and all. It’s not all that bad and there are lots of people much worse off than me. But still, I find myself kinda envying those who can afford to do things like go on holidays to Italy or elsewhere.. things that were part of my reason for coming here. (I guess I can kiss going skiing in europe goodbye 🙁 ) Or even other things like being able to buy enough basic furniture for the flat so they don’t have to live out of boxes. Or afford to live closer to central london. Ok I know its bad to compare myself to other people (along with danger of coveting). But the way I’m thinking about it is that I could have done better for myself. Given my background, my education, training and opportunities (which have all been very good and a blessing).. there is no logical reason I shouldn’t be in a better situation. I guess I feel like its kinda a failure on my part. (I mean its not even because I’m deliberately putting myself here due to noble and selfless acts of great giving/sacrifice.) Am I being too hard on myself? I dunno. I know I shouldn’t really complain.. but to explain.. I guess I’ve never been in this sorta situation before.. and I’m finding it a bit hard to accept. It’s easy to say “yeh I don’t care about money” when you have enough and it doesn’t really affect your life much.

Anyway. I feel a bit sad too. About people. Friends (or lack thereof). Losing touch. That sorta thing. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic. Or maybe I’m not trying hard enough. I wonder where my life will lead. I wonder if I’m doomed for an unhappy life. Like so many out there.

</rant>

Ok enough about money and all things dismal. To put things into perspective for myself, its not that bad. I can still “afford” just a few small “luxuries”, like gym and dance class and broadband internet (though realistically.. my budget and bank account would probably look healthier without those things). But have to give up other things.. like piano classes :(, a bookshelf, new clothes anytime soon, a holiday anytime soon, and at this point, even a flight back to Sydney anytime soon.. heheh. *sigh* Oh wells. Here’s hoping things get better in the future.

Hmm. Strangely enough, I feel a bit better now. Go cathartic blogging. I do have a lot to be thankful for.. I have been able to experience lots of cool and different things over here and have managed to do some travel (last year). Gotta try and stay positive.. see the bigger picture.. get the perspective. I guess I’m alright. Just alright.

3 – 1

BRILLIANT!!! 3 goals in the last 8 mins for the socceroos vs japan. Wooohooo! Go Aussies! 🙂

Ok normally I’m not that into football (or soccer as we call it in Australia), but I think my national pride overrides my usual indifference towards the game. And hey, I think the enthusiasm of Kwai and general UK populace for the World Cup is rubbing off a liddle bit. I suppose it is the most watched and most played game in the world.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! 😀

“Severe” weather warning

EARLY WARNING of Heatwave – Issued by the Met Office at 11:30 on Friday, 9 June

This is the first warning of disruption due to Heatwave. The Met Office is forecasting southerly winds to bring some very warm air across Eastern Great Britain over the weekend and into early next week, with increasing humidity later in the period. The warmest air is likely to affect central and eastern parts of England with some areas becoming hot, or very hot. There is a 50 percent chance that temperatures in Northeast England, Yorkshire and Humberside will reach daytime maxima of 29 degrees Celsius and nightime minima of 17 degrees Celsius, fulfilling the criteria for Heat-Health Watch warning.

Hahahahaha….

Yay for meme’s

Thanks to Vron. 🙂

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4.
There are now two tabs named Form1.cs above the Code and Text Editor/Design View

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My work computer 17 inch flat screen monitor

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Family Guy season 1, episode 1. Ooh yeh. 🙂 (Well not on tv.. on the computer, but hey its a tv show)

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is
10:40am

5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
10:41am

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Annoying loud drilling from building construction works next door

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
An hour ago. Running slightly late for work.

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My sitemeter stats

9: What are you wearing?
White singlet top, brown pleated mini skirt, brown Jack Johnson hoodie, brown havaianas

10: Did you dream last night?
Yes. Vividly, as usual.

11: When did you last laugh?
Last night out at drinkstag in Bank (cbd of london) with Kwai and a friend we met in Frankfurt, nicknamed Spiceboy. Good times. 🙂

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A couple of black and white framed photos of famous classic stars – dunno who they are though

13: Seen anything weird lately?
A particular YouTube video which is mega cringeworthy and decidedly wierd (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMHRkISRj18)

14(a): What is the last book you finished?
Hmm.. I haven’t actually *finished* a book in a long time. I think it would be Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last year.

14(b): What book are you currently reading?
“Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” – Steven R Covey (yes I’m *still* reading this – its only been a year :-\)

15: What is the last film you saw?
United 93 and Poseidon.. one right after the other

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
I think Vron’s suggestion is good.. go on holidays.. probably to Frankfurt and watch a game of the World Cup! But before that.. a flight for Kwai to go to Budapest to do the final stage of his tooth implant and crown, and a bookshelf and bedside drawer for the flat (because I can’t afford it at the moment 🙁 )

17: Tell me something about you that I don’t know
I hate wearing bras. I just find them really uncomfortable and binding on my ribs. No matter what sort. Yet I still wear em. In fact, I find my “going out” clothes pretty uncomfortable in general.. I don’t really like wearing them, and I much prefer slumming at home in loose comfy clothing, a bathrobe or nothing (german influence!) I think I have a low “comfort” threshold when it comes to clothing.. and even lower for shoes. I can’t wear strappy high heels to save my life. As much as I love how glam girly clothes & shoes look.. *sigh*

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Erradicate any form of smoking anywhere at any time!

19: Do you like to dance?
Does a dog have four legs? Hell yeh! 🙂 I dance mainly hiphop, funk, jazz and salsa.

20: What is the last thing you ate or drank?
A caffe latte and water. Mmm.. caffeeeiine.. (hey it was only 10:30am and I was already falling asleep at the desk)

21(a): Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Umm. Not too sure.. something pretty though.. like maybe Jasmine..

21(b): Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
No idea. I think I’d prefer a baby girl anyways 😛 Not that I want children any time soon.

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?
Hah. Been there done that baby. Am living in London right now.. but if I were to move elsewhere, I’d love to live in Europe for a bit.. Brussels or Frankfurt.. or somewhere in France. 🙂 Otherwise New York sounds cool too.

Current listening :: “Dirty Dancing” – Black Eyed Peas

Setlist and random photos

(Note: She deviated slightly from the set list, playing “Drive” instead of “When I See You Smile”)

Getting the bus from work to Clapham Junction station kinda sucks. Once I’m at the station, getting home is a breeze. But getting to the station is the hard part. Actually getting to any station from my work sucks. And the bus stop isn’t even that close. (Not that I mind, coz the walking/running to the bus stop is good for me :)). Anyway, crossing Battersea Bridge is especially bad. Traffic is always chockas, and yesterday was a classic example. One of those open-top tour buses picked the worst place to break down. Traffic in almost every direction was stuck, and so was I. Took me an extra 40 mins.. but I eventually made it home.

Oh yeh, and its 28 today, with a forecast of 26, 28, 28, 27 for the next 4 days!!! Go London summer! Pity there are no beaches. 🙁 Anyway, gonna do a salsa class tonight! Yay. I’ve been pretty irregular this year with salsa.. really need to get back into it! Then am meeting Kwai at Drinkstag (which is german for Drinks Day.. or evening).. with some of his expat friends from Frankfurt who have now returned to London.

Current listening :: “Shake” – Ying Yang Twins

Miscellaney

It’s quite warm today, prob about 24/25 degrees, and tis a bit stuffy in the office (no air con, only windows). I feel kinda sleepy now… *yawn* Well at least summer is finally here. The next few days and the weekend are forecast to reach around 26 – 28 degs! Methinks its time to pull out the havaianas, skirts and singlet tops. 🙂

Life has been.. chugging along I s’pose. Been quite busy at work.. but otherwise have just spent time hangin out with Kwai, going to the movies, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, church, bible study, gym, and the slightly irregular dance class. Me and Kwai have been watching a movie (or 2) pretty much every weekend (seeing as its the only thing we can do that doesn’t cost money.. other than the monthly £14). Over the past month, we’ve watched Mi:III, The DaVinci Code, XMen III, Poseidon and United 93. Kwai also watched The Omen yesterday (without me of course – s’if I would ever watch that!) And over the next month or so, I’m looking forward to Superman Returns, Over The Hedge, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, and Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Mans Chest. I’ve also been enjoying regular workouts at the gym. Its nice to get the body moving and just let loose after sitting at a computer all day. I’ve started doing a body pump class on monday nights. Keep this up, and I’ll be buff in no time! Hehe. It’s certainly workin the muscles.. I really feel it afterwards.. and it takes me about 2 or 3 days to recover! :/

Belated Bic Post

Kwai and myself went to see Bic Runga the weekend before last, down in Brighton (nice town on the south coast of England – but only 1/2 hrs train ride away from Croydon). I would have blogged about it earlier. We were literally 2 metres away from her, right at the front of this very intimate gig. I took so many photos and videos on my phone. BUT…. my phone decided to WSOD and die the night before I was going to upload the photos. Damn you Sony Erricsson! After some research on google, I believe the only way to save the phone is to do a firmware flash. Which means I lose all my data. Damn you Sony Erricsson!! *sigh* 🙁

Well, one photo was not lost. The one taken with kwai’s camera. Of me and Bic, after she signed the set list I nicked off the stage (it even has her footprint on it!). She’s really nice and very friendly.. she hung about signing everyone’s CDs, having a chat to each person and posing for photos with them. Her mother is on tour with her too, selling the cds at the table after the gig. She seems like a typical chinese mother!! Hehe.

The gig itself was awesome. I love her new stuff! It sounds less depressing live than it does on the cd (maybe it’s the strings). She sung quite a few old tunes too, including “Drive”, “Bursting Through” and “Sway”. Very happy was I!! But I think the highlight of the gig was a cover she and her band did of this french song “Ne Me Quitte Pas”. It was incredible.. just so emotional and soulful – she sung it really well. I have to find a copy of it somewhere. Esp since I lost the video I took. Grrr. Anyway, I remember she used to be quite shy and uncertain in gigs. I think she still was a little at the beginning, but then she seemed to warm up to the audience and relax a bit.

Well, I’ll post up a pic of the set list tonight or something. Guess I should get back to work. Bleugh.

Current listening :: “The Rhythm” – The Cat Empire (great summer listening… ooh and I’m going to see them again in August!)

Wishful thinking

Sometimes I wish there were some sort of magical portal doorway that I could step through here in London, and I’d be transported to Sydney on the other side. It would be so nice to just drop in on friends/family on the other side of the world with just a step through a doorway.. I could like, go to a friend’s party or birthday or wedding.. for just a few hours.. and then step back into London. Could even go home for mums cooking one night. Would have to factor the time difference of course.

Someone invent one please?

Miscellaney

Current listening :: “Mofongo” – Yellowjackets

Troubled times

Just when I thought I’ve solved one large problem in my life, another even larger one has reared its ugly head. *sigh* This year truly has sucked. And my comment back in February this year seems to ring too true. I wonder if next year is gonna be any better. One can only hope.

How appropriate that it’s been raining & miserable these past few days. *sigh*

Current listening :: “The Trouble With Love Is” – Kelly Clarkson