I hope that

Hmm… Quite a philosophical debate. Lots of varied opinions. It appears that all of these viewpoints may be valid, depending on time, chance, ethnicity, professional status, social status, character, personality…

Different cities have way different vibes about them. Even countries, as far as that goes.

But as for cities, London is perhaps the epicenter of a tremendous amount of business action. Like New York, it carries the reputation for being cold and impersonal, with the people being way too busy chasing the next dollar/pound/euro to care much about their fellow humans. And the British in general have carried the stigma of being perceived as arrogant and snobbish from as far back as their colonizing activities.

But the city itself is a magnet for over-achievers who desire to make it big in their chosen field. The over-achiever mindset is one of working long hours to get ahead of others and a very competitive nature. These aren’t necessarily ideal qualities for making fast friends. They are actually kinda repulsive in the friend making area. And very stressful, (which may account for the amount of pubs… )

Sydney, however, and Australia, too, has a reputation for being laid back and mellow. The people not easily excitable and friendlier than your average bear… Those are pretty attractive qualities and go a long way toward making fast friends.

I know there are exceptions to these generalizations, but I’ve travelled a lil bit myself and can easily tell that different cities can have very different characteristics from one another.

from the former colonies of America.
Tony

Yeh I agree its probably more to with being in London than Britain itself as I’m sure other parts of Britian have a very different social culture from London. However, I still think it is general consesus amongst almost anyone who comes to Britian from another country (eg europe, america, australia) that they find British people on the more reserved side (and hence seemingly harder to get to know, at least initially) in general comparison to people in their country. True? Sure there is something in what you say with being able to share the whole “being in another country” thing as a contributing factor, but I still think there is something in the british culture (the reservedness) in general that also contributes to it all. Not saying you guys aren’t friendly at all, coz i have made some lovely friends here… though I found that someone as open as yourself seems to be a less common occurrance than in other countries I’ve lived.

Note to all:
As with anything there is always more than one side to the issue. I’m not saying its all bad all the time, I’m only addressing one aspect of life here that I feel sometimes. I dont always feel this way abt living here and abt british ppl.. and I’m not always down and depressed abt life here, contrary to what it may appear like from what I write on this blog. Treat these blog entries like a snapshot into my thoughts at a particular moment in time.

Since moving to London by social circle has shrunk beyond belief, I put it down to two main factors, it’s London, London is huge and anonymous ( has been for a centuries ), I’m getting older, ok – three things – and people here already have their established groups and don’t see the need to get many new friends. It’s not a british thing at all, it’s a combination of all sorts. And the fact that you’re getting on with those from mainland europe could be as much to do with sharing the whole being in a different country type of thing.

Jonathan – how do you try and meet people from other countries etc ? I know it’s always a good thing but sometimes forcing the issue doesn’t work.

Anyway, Karen, make sure you do the gig at Piada, I need an excuse to go eat there.

Stew

Joe

Couldn’t have said it better myself. The trouble is for me, as much as I tried to meet people from other nationalities or ethnic backgrounds, they didn’t want to know. There is a real divide between white British and everyone else. Therefore I now have to do my photography, go to the gym, and enjoy my music on my own (and as I said, I quit dance classes).

My suggestion is still the same: leave this country. Neither of us likes it here, but unlike me, you have no reason to stay here. Escape while you still can

I wish you all the best with your assignment!

Regarding age.. I was more thinking of my life when I was 25/26 compared to 27/28. Not a huge difference in age and life circumstances.. both would be settled in work, and been out of uni long enough for the whole “uni lifestyle” to have kinda worn off. True more in the latter group will have started getting married. But as I mentioned before, marrying and settling down doesn’t mean you cease to have friends. You might also have misunderstood me – by meeting people and making friends I am not talking about drunken nights out partying.

So when I say I want to meet people… I’m talking about meeting people for lunch or dinner or a coffee and having a decent conversation in which you genuinely get to know the other person/people. No I am not insisting they are ABC. I met a bunch of people when I was around 25/26.. before i came to london.. who very quickly became really good friends of mine. They were a great bunch and they weren’t all asian either (tho the majority were.. it was a mix of filipino, chinese, malaysian/singaporean, australian, indian) – full of energy for life, positive, seeking to achieve things and improve themselves, very active in their hobbies (eg was into dance classes, photography, working out at the gym, starting their own businesses, played competitive volleyball etc etc) and geuinely wanting to form deep, positive friendships with others. I guess people with a very similar mindset to myself. And i think this is something that is somehow a part of the culture over there, at least amongst the social circles I hung around. To have that positive and active attitude towards life. In comparison, the culture here seems to be all about going to pubs and getting drunk every weekend – which I am TOTALLY not into. This is the difference in culture that I feel. I’m not into drinking or smoking and most of my friends back in Sydney weren’t either. We prefered going out to the beach, having a bbq, doing something active and sporty, going out for dinner together, sitting in a cafe chatting over some coffee in the afternoon.. sharing some sushi.. or even just hanging out at each other houses and cooking a decent meal together.. we sometimes went clubbing (for the purposes of dancing, not just to get drunk) or went to karaoke for some fun (thats more an asian thing). I guess this is something you probably would never understand because you have not lived this. (I am assuming you are british and have grown up here?)

I do still believe that I can find similar minded people here. I think it just takes time and effort – and I don’t have the benefit of having grown up here with a foundation of social networks already built. I have gotten to know some people so far, and they have been from all different cultures, which I do love. However they seem to be mostly from cultures OTHER than british. For example, I have found that europeans from the “continent” (eg germans, italians, spanish etc) are definitely easier to get to know and more open to friendships. I enjoy the variety of people here though. And actually the only thing missing in the mix of people I know now are asians! I barely know any! And i think that the ABC/BBC culture is really quite non-existent here. So I guess what I’m saying is that I just kinda miss it. Because it is nice to have that immediate bond with someone – as much as you are able to mingle with people from other cultures and friends of all different backgrounds, there is something that just clicks when you talk to someone of a similar cultural background to yourself. There is almost an automatic understanding and likemindedness there. BUT even if they’re not the same culture, if they still have a similar mindset and attitude towards life, then I think culture/ethnicity really makes no difference to me at all.

Anyway, I think I have spent too long trying to explain something to you that I think you probably will never really understand. So for now.. I need to get cracking on important things.. like my dinner and my assignment!

As an aside, a while ago I was wondering what I could invent that could be the next big idea on the web. I came up with the idea of a protocol that would allow social networking to be added to any site. Now Google have got there first, damn it!

I still think there’s a big difference between a 21 and just out of university, and 30. The former people are still young, living in shared houses, going out a lot. By 30, they are settled down, maybe married, have their own flats, etc.

If you are insisting on meeting people who are ABC, then I see the problem. I think London, other cities, and the whole world would be a better place if people would mix more with people outside their own ethnicity or nationality after coming here as immigrants. Thinking of BBC people I’ve known, the happiest and most successful are the ones who see themselves as British and have friends of all backgrounds. I’ve seen your videos and don’t see why you should be any different from non-ABCs (you don’t have language as an excuse), but if you really feel you are – and only you can know that – the only solution is obviously to go back to Australia!