My Blue Heaven

Thursday funnies

Only 1 day till the weekend. Here are some Sh!ttyrail (pardon my french, but they deserve it :P) funnies to help get you through the last day of the week..

The following announcements were all heard and reported by visitors to the State transit authority website.

• Heard at Central Station: “The train at platform sixteen is not going to North Sydney but to Circular Quay. The train approaching platform
  fifteen is also not going to North Sydney, its going to City Circle. These trains are not going to North Sydney despite what the signal men think.”

• On Redfern Station: “Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me.”
• On Town Hall Station: “To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of ‘stand clear of the doors’ don’t you understand?”
• At Wynyard station (where a train was stationary despite a green light):”Sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen but there is a queue of trains ahead of us so I have decided to wait here, because I’m sure you
  don’t want to sit in a tunnel getting hot and sweaty”

• Central again: “Next time, you might find it easier to wait until the doors are open before trying to get on the train”
• At King’s Cross: “This train is completely broken, it isn’t going anywhere”
• On the Merrylands line: “This is Granville, err, no, it’s Merrylands!”
• At Town Hall station (on a crowded Friday afternoon): ‘Please let the passengers off the train first… Please let the passengers off the train first… Please let the passengers off the train first… Let the passengers off the train FIRST!… Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I’m going home.’
• On the Illawarra line (after a 20-minute delay): “I apologise for the delay but the computer controlling the signalling at Sutherland and Hurstville has the Monday Morning Blues”
• At Kogarah: “We can’t move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door”
• At Campbelltown: “Hello this is xxx speaking, I am the captain of your train, and we will be departing shortly, we will be cruising at an altitude of approximately zero feet, and our scheduled arrival time in Central is 3:15pm. The temperature in Central is approximately 15 degrees celsius, and Central is in the same time zone as Campbelltown , so there’s no need to adjust your watches.”

Hee hee. 😀

Anyways, I better start getting ready to leave. Going to try a new dance class tonight – HipHop/Jazz at Dance Kool. Got recommended by some ppl I met at my street funk class as a fast paced, challenging class… sounds like fun! 🙂

Current listening :: “My Prerogative” – Britney Spears

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