My Blue Heaven

Moody

Hmm. I can feel my mood taking a nose-dive into the more murky depths of melancholiness. I wonder if “that time” is approaching? Maybe I’m just tired. Meh. I feel like listening to my darker, depressive, sad yet sweet, angsty, and more passionately raw music. Gimme some George, gimme some Bic Runga, gimme some Bluebottle Kiss, gimme some Something For Kate, gimme some Doves, gimme some Radiohead, gimme some Cure…..

Have set winamp playlist to shuffle through a nice selection of appropriate albums.

Rant rant ranty rant rant. *sigh*

Current listening :: “Melody Calls” – Doves

iTunes shuffle meme

Thanks to aileen for this iTunes shuffle meme. 🙂

Instructions:

1. Open up the music player on your computer.
2. Set it to play your entire music collection.
3. Hit the “shuffle” command.
4. Tell us the title of the next ten songs that show up (with
   their musicians), no matter how embarrassing. That’s right, no skipping that
   Carpenters tune that will totally destroy your hip credibility. It’s time for
   total musical honesty.
5. Write it up in your blog or journal and link back to at
   least a couple of the other sites where you saw this.
6. If you get the same artist twice, you may skip the second
   (or third, or etc.) occurances. You don’t have to, but since randomness could
   mean you end up with a list of ten song with five artists, you can if you’d
   like.

And here are my results:

1. Ben Folds – “Annie Waits”
2. Simon and Garfunkel – “Mrs Robinson”
3. Eve Ft Gwen Stefani – “Let Me Blow Ya Mind”
4. The Village People – “YMCA”
5. Jennifer Lopez – “If You Had My Love”
6. Mandy Moore – “Candy”
7. Mariah Carey – “Dreamlover”
8. You Am I – “Damage”
9. Britney Spears – “Lonely”
10. Jack Johnson – “Inaudible Melodies”

So there you have it. Hehe. The shuffle worked quite well actually. Gave a good selection across the large range of songs I own. Not bad for choosing 10 out of 1500 odd songs! Had to skip a repeat of Ben Folds, and a Hilary Duff “interlude” track that I’d never listen to anyway.

*sigh* Work is sooooo boring today. Hardly anyone here, inc my boss! Been bludging the whole day, as I really have no work at all to do. Think I’ll prob go home early too. Gotta love it! 🙂

Current listening :: “Belter” – Powderfinger

Miscellaney

Man I’m tired. Just feeling all relaxed after an afternoon at the beach, and a yummy dinner with the family for my mum’s birthday. Went to a chinese resturant and stuffed ourselves silly with lobster, steamed fish, tofu hotpot and beef & veg. 😀

Anyway, I’ve been having a very nice Xmas break – pity its back to work tomorrow for me. But over the last 4 days, I manged to relax lots, spent quality time with family, watched a moofie (Blade: Trinity), went the beach, and caught the post-christmas sales!! I bought a whole heap of clothes… yay!! They include 2 pairs of really nice jeans (“Grab” jeans, if u know the brand) – half price! Two really pretty flowy skirts (turquoise floral and white – almost half price too!) and a couple of singlet tops to match – from Just Jeans. And finally this gorgeous Cooper St dress. Soooo pretty and flowy and feminine! Its chocolate with swirly blue/turquoise patterns. Pic below. 🙂

Ah well, back to work tomm. Sucks. 🙁

Current listening :: “She Wants To Move” – N.E.R.D

Merry Christmas!

Well. Can’t believe christmas is finally here.. well in 8 hours time anyway. Another year gone by so fast. Where does it all go? I’ve got myself a lot of thinking and self-discovery to do in the new year. A fresh start for Kazzart. 🙂

Meanwhile… for some reason I’m not really getting into the whole christmas thing this year. I’m just ‘meh’ about it all. In the past I’ve been the mega excited one with christmas, but over the years that child-like glee has faded. And this year… well I think you can understand the external factors that may have influenced my lack of christmas-zeal. Its not that I’m depressed – not at all. I’m feeling quite at peace actually. Its just that I don’t really feel like getting all celebratory. Say tonight for example.. I’m probably gonna be home alone, on christmas eve.. but I don’t mind at all! 🙂

Hrm. Was also gonna write something about how the blatant commercialism of christmas is kinda bugging me this year… but I can’t be bothered. I really haven’t gotten into buying anything this christmas… no cards, pressies or anything. Maybe I’m just giving it a rest for one year. I don’t usually get many cards (usually give out way more than I recieve) and hardly ever a present these past few years anyway, so yeh, starting to wonder if I should bother? Its not about presents and cards anyway.

Anyways, here I am still at work! Most people have gone home already. My boss even sent an email out telling us we could all have an early mark! 🙂 Suppose I should be leaving soon.. ish.. But the net connection / computer at work is so much better than at home. For one my computer at home SUX! Soo slow these days. Think I need a reinstall… or better yet, a new comp! 🙁 And secondly, we’ve been capped to 28.8K now!! Went over our 1GB download limit! Doh! Its my bro’s fault too. Grrr… 😛 Now we have to wait till 1st Jan for cable speeds again. *sigh*

Ah well. Having posted an ever-so-slightly anti-christmas post, I’m now gonna wish you all a very Merry (and Meaningful) Christmas. 🙂 Hope you all have a great day tomorrow, whatever you’re doing.

Current listening :: “Into You” – Fabolous

The trouble with love is

Love can be a many splendored thing
Can’t deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It’ll fool ya every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie

Wired

Mmmm….. cooofffeeeeee…… 😀

Man I was sooooo tired this morning. But now that I am about 90% of the way through my large mocha, I’m feelin pretty good. I’ve never had such a clear effect on my awakeness by coffee. But damn, I am feeling wired!

[….. 1 day later….]

Hmm.. never got around to posting that post! Ah well. I’m still really tired… too many late nights, too many days in a row!! 😐

Anyways, home time for me!

Coming clean

Ok enough subtlety. You may have noticed that my blog has been spouting some rather depressive lyrics of late. Of course there’s a reason behind it all. Pretty obvious if you ask me.

Yes, Paul and I have broken up, as of Monday night. Yes, he broke up with me.

Want more sordid details? You have permission to contact me personally – email or otherwise.

And yes. Life goes on. Though it hasn’t really felt like it was going to, over the past few days. You know how it goes.. for those who have experienced heartbreak.. your world falls to pieces, crying non-stop, and you have nfi what to do with yourself. Your mind attempts to comprehend the whole concept. That he/she will not be in your life anymore. All your plans and hopes and dreams for your future with them are blown away in one fell swoop. Ok, maybe I’m being just a tad melodramatic now. I know time will heal this and it was probably for the best and there’s someone better out there for me and blah blah blah. I guess I’ll be ok.. with time.

Tell you what, relationships are gonna be a strict no-no for a while. Go the single life! Someone slap me please if they see me getting entangled in another too soon. I think I’ve finally gained a healthy respect and fear of relationships and what they can do to you (and others).

It’s also interesting to note that at times like this you discover who your true friends really are.. and it’s the most unlikely of people who seem to be the most helpful.

Current listening :: “Monkey Wrench” – Foo Fighters (Ahh… angsty music therapy! Speaking of which.. music is something I intend to throw myself into.. really need to brush up my piano skills again! Anyone wanna jam?)

I’ll forget you

I’ll forget you
The more you stay inside of me, the weaker I grow
I’ll forget you
Tomorrow I will turn and let you go
I’ll grow colder
I’ll lose myself in anything but you now,
For there is nothing I can do now, but forget

I’ll forget you
I’ve got to find the strength to pull away from your glow
I’ll forget you
God help me see the way to let you go!
I do not want you
And still you steal each breath I’m breathing from me
With just a touch, you overcome me
And I let you
I will forget you
When I die
I will forget you
I will forget you

Burnt

This one is yours. Think you might like it.

I don’t understand, why..
See it’s burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don’t mean I want to
What I’m trying to say is that I-love-you I just
I feel like this is coming to an end
And its better for me to let it go now
Than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it’s best for yourself, but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it’s over
You know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn


Current listening :: “Burn” – Usher

Bruised

Oh no
Love just leaves you bruised if you wanna know
then find something to lose

Good song.

Current listening :: “Bruised” – The Bens

Back in the grind :\

Yep. Am back at work today, the day after mission finished. Have been asking myself, why oh why didn’t I take this day off too?? 😛 But its not all bad. The boss isn’t in, and work is pretty slow. And compared to the 7:30am starts all last week (which meant getting up BEFORE 7am!!!), today actually felt like a sleep in, getting up at 8:30am!! 🙂

Anyways, guess what, I was emailed the live recording of our performance at Ernie’s wedding that was a few weeks back. You know, the performance I whinged and ranted and carried on about in a previous post. 🙂 I had my first listen last night.. and seriously, I was braced and ready for a shocker… but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I really wasn’t (that) off key at all. Voice was a bit shaky and weak.. and yes kinda husky too.. and timing was a bit off in places. But all in all… it wasn’t that bad, considering it was the absolute worst time we’d ever played/sung that song!!! The recording was suitably dodgy.. but I guess it was ripped from a digital video camera pointed out way, so yeh, don’t expect cd quality. If your keen, you can download the mp3 here (right click and “save as”) and listen to my first ever live solo performance, singing AND playing piano! Its 5.2 Mbs. Yes, I have much room for improvement.

Current listening :: “My Iron Lung” – Radiohead

I’m baack

Just got back from a very full-on 8 days of mission in Annandale. More about it later (photos too)! 🙂 I’ll be going straight back into work tomorrow morning… and I’m still up surfing the net now. I’m crazy. *slaps self*

It’s coz I had actually NO net or computer access the entire time I was away. But I didn’t even suffer withdrawals… I think… 😛

Ok. Me. Bed. Now.

Current listening :: “Deep River” – Utada Hikaru

Schtuff

It’s all like sinking
You’re trying to stay afloat
Like a wind blown paper boat
Over uncharted sea

I like Bic Runga.

Anyway, tis finally Friday! Woohoo! 🙂 I have the whole of next week off next week. Though not exactly a holiday, as I will be on an urban mission in the Annandale area. The theme for the week being “Where Is God..?” – we’ll be running various activities in the area. I’ll also be billeting at someone’s place in Annandale, so you prob won’t be hearing from me for a while – don’t think I’ll have any internet access whilst I’m there!

Also another exciting thing – I’m gonna be dancing at a HipHop showcase/tournament event at the Autosalon, held this weekend at Olympic Park. Some classes from DanceKool are gonna be performing a showcase of stuff we’ve learnt – my class being one of them. Six of us, plus our teacher, will be performing a short hiphop routine to Missy’s “Work It” (remix). Should be fun! My first dance performance!!!! 😀 And we only just finished learning the routine last night. We have another rehearsal tonight though, which we will very much need!! Anyway, if anyone happens to be going to the Autosalon, we’ll be on at 2pm, Sunday 5th Dec.

Current listening :: “Lullaby” – The Cure

(more…)

Moral issues in question

What do people think of this recent case of a man being taken to court and fined for taking photos of women bathing topless on a public beach in Sydney. I’ve been reading many and varied points of view regarding this issue – some people are adamant that this guy had every right to take the photo and that women who bath topless are “fair game” for all.. whilst others are glad the guy was brought to justice and that women have the right to privacy, even when topless in a public place.

What are peoples opinions of such a sticky issue. From a legal perspective.. should the court have fined him… was he committing an offence? Is there a law against this, and if so, what of the paparazzi? And then from a christian perspective.. was he wrong (personally I think he was, yes). Or perhaps both parties were wrong. Is it wrong (from a christian perspective) to bath topless (I think it is definitely not wise… and even as far as wrong). And can this moral issue/values be extended from christianity to the legal system?

Argh. Anyway. Just some interesting thoughts and questions. I was actually quite disturbed by some peoples attitudes on this forum. Many peoples attitudes are in line with this quoted example from one person “If a chick is going to sunbake topless, I reckon she has no right to be offended at someone taking a photo of her.” That just doesn’t sit right with me for some reason. I guess it demonstrates just how warped society has become. On both sides – women bathing topless on public (non-nudist) beaches, and men thinking they are “fair game” just because of this… their attitude that these women are little more than objects to be ogled at.

Hrm. Any comments are welcome.

On another note… Lord Of The Rings : The Return Of The King (Extended Edition DVD, DTS – 4 Disc Box Set) will be available Friday, 10 December 2004. Running time 240 minutes (about 50 minutes longer than the theatrical release). Download the trailer here (right click on link and “save as” – a 35Mb download).

Woohoo! I can’t wait!!!

Weekend mania

Gee the weekend flew by fast. I had a very enjoyable day off on Friday, spending the afternoon at Dee Why beach. Was supposed to go with a girlfriend but she piked 🙁 so I just went by myself anyway. Was a lovely sunny day (albeit a bit on the windy side) and I sunbaked on the beach for a bit, before cooling off with a refreshing dip in the deep blue sea. Very nice! There was hardly anyone on the beach too. Finally finished the day with a yummy toasted grilled chicken sandwich at one of the beachside cafes. Here’s a piccy of me sitting on the beach (taken with my phone).

Another weekend, another wedding..

On Saturday, I had the pleasure of attending Ernie and Ruth’s wedding and reception. Myself, Sam and Andrew were playing music for the wedding, and that went quite well… almost. Unfortunately, our very well practiced item for the signing of the register fell to pieces (well to my ears) because I got so damn nervous. I was actually shaking… my voice was shaking… and my breathing fell to pieces coz my heart was beating too fast.. and yeh… it was just horrible.. the worst I’d ever sung it. 🙁 I was barely holding it together, singing and playing piano at the same time, when those darned camera men decided to poke their collective camera noses in our faces (and fingers)…. I was *this* close to swinging em one. 😛

But miracle upon miracles, everyone actually said it sounded great! People couldn’t tell my voice was shaking (maybe just lots of vibrato eh :P) and my pitch was fine. Even our musician/music buff friend Tim Woo said it sounded fine. One person even told me I sounded like Karen Carpenter! Wow… what a compliment! 🙂 Well, we’ll see… Andrew got it all on video, so we can have a listen and watch ourselves freak out.

Anyway, here are some photos from the reception, which was held at the Shangri-La Hotel:

Snip snip

I also got a haircut on Saturday (in between the wedding and reception!) It was a special promotional voucher that I shared with a girlfriend. So we went together and got our hair coloured, treated, cut and blow-dryed together. What an ultimate girly girl thing to do. 🙂 I got a semi-permanent colour (mix of dark mahogany brown and deep violet) coz I wanted my hair to look shiny and healthy again. I love semi’s.. they make your hair so glossy and nice… and they’re conditioning too. Can’t really see the violet unfortunately.. it just looks dark again.

As for the cut, I got a few long layers cut into the back, and some shorter fine layers at the sides. Also trimmed my fringe again, which is a bit annoying coz its constantly sitting in my eyes now. 🙁 I’m still trying to decide whether they did a good job with the cut. I find western hairdressers never do layers right. My hair is very thick and quite coarse, so chunky layers look horrible on me. I need the asian cut – fine, feathered layers that thin the hair out and tapers at the ends. But not too feathered. Its a delicate balance. 😛 Well… we’ll see how it goes. I’m terrible with haircuts… I always always hate it for the first few days/weeks and get all freaked out about it… but then after a while, I’m ok with it and eventually I love it. The trials of being a girl. *sigh* 😛


Current listening :: “Traffic In The Sky” – Jack Johnson

Feelin blue

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day
It’s as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Pretty song – “Reflections” from Mulan. Been rediscovering my girly girl music lately – the beautiful ballads from my fave Disney movies.. I used to belt them out at the top of my lungs when I was younger, in the (relative) privacy of my room at home. Also been listening to songs from the musical Jekyll & Hyde. All the sad girly songs like “Someone like you”, “A New Life”, “In His Eyes” and a current particular favourite “No one knows who I am”. *sigh*

I can’t believe its almost the end of the year. Just 1 month to go. How time flies. With the end of 2004 looming ever closer, the reality of changing churches next year is hitting me. And, well, I dunno if I’m gonna be able to do it.. actually tear myself away from something I’ve held as a home (of sorts) for about 10 years. Meh. Guess it’s just the doubts speaking.

(more…)

I love dolphins!

And this story just reinforces their ultra coolness! 😀 How awesome are they! *sigh* 🙂

Anyways, long time no post! Sorry, I’ve just been busy, and kinda lacking motivation to blog lately. Nothing much of interest. Parents are away for the week, so me and my bro had a BBQ party on Saturday, which was fun. Was meant to be a pool party but it was way too cold to swim. Grrr.. why do the hot days have to always be during the week!! 🙁

Got a music practice tonight for a friend’s wedding this coming Saturday. Myself, Sam and Andrew will be playing the congregational songs and also an item during the register signing. We’re performing a cover of this christian wedding song “Father We Commit”. Pretty song – we were going to do it instrumental, but in the end decided to go with vocals coz we feel the song works better that way. So I’m actually going to be soloing for this song (!!), as well as playing piano in parts (not an easy feat), with Sam backing me up with harmony and also playing classical guitar/violin, and Andrew on main acoustic guitar and some backing vocals too. Eeek! Its pretty challenging, but our practices have been pretty good so far, so I think we’ll be able to pull it off. Should be fun. 🙂

Current listening :: “Drop The Pilot” – Mandy Moore (cover of Joan Armatrading original)

My prerogative

Hee hee. I like this song. And being the unashamed Britney Spears fan that I am, I just purchased myself the latest Greatest Hits : My Prerogative cd (which just came out today :P). Yay! 🙂 It’s got a few unreleased songs and different remixes, plus its a limited edition with bonus cd.

Dearie me.. I really am a sucker for Britney stuff. I’m a shocker.. but proud! Afterall, it’s my prerogative. (Hee.. sorry, couldn’t resist! :P)

Plus, I got it for a 2 for $44 deal. The other cd I bought was the latest (and debut) Dappled Cities Fly album. Worlds away from Britney Spears in terms of music genre. Eclectic.. no?

Weekend miscellaney

I FINALLY caught Bridget Jones 2 : The Edge Of Reason last night. Been looking forward to this for absolutely ages. I quite enjoyed it – was full of amusing and cringy moments in that typical Bridget fashion. The ending was quite lovely and romantic. But having said that, I think I liked the first one better. Guess its hard to create a sequel thats lives up to the original. There were just a few times in the movie that I wanted to slap her one for being a silly woman – all that relationship troubles guff.. ugh! I didn’t really experience that itch to slap in the first movie.. not sure what made the difference. But the movie ended well… and Mark Darcy is sooooo the perfect man. *sigh* …. *double sigh* ….. :P~

Other than that, my weekend comprised of 1 x Weddings, 1 x Housework, 1 x Baptisms, 1 x Church services, 1 x Lunches with boyfriend and 5 x Stargate episodes. 🙂

I leave you with a random pic of my bf (taken at YHP, Easter 2004). I quite like this photo.

Current listening :: “My Prerogative” – Britney Spears

Thursday funnies

Only 1 day till the weekend. Here are some Sh!ttyrail (pardon my french, but they deserve it :P) funnies to help get you through the last day of the week..

The following announcements were all heard and reported by visitors to the State transit authority website.

• Heard at Central Station: “The train at platform sixteen is not going to North Sydney but to Circular Quay. The train approaching platform
  fifteen is also not going to North Sydney, its going to City Circle. These trains are not going to North Sydney despite what the signal men think.”

• On Redfern Station: “Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me.”
• On Town Hall Station: “To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of ‘stand clear of the doors’ don’t you understand?”
• At Wynyard station (where a train was stationary despite a green light):”Sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen but there is a queue of trains ahead of us so I have decided to wait here, because I’m sure you
  don’t want to sit in a tunnel getting hot and sweaty”

• Central again: “Next time, you might find it easier to wait until the doors are open before trying to get on the train”
• At King’s Cross: “This train is completely broken, it isn’t going anywhere”
• On the Merrylands line: “This is Granville, err, no, it’s Merrylands!”
• At Town Hall station (on a crowded Friday afternoon): ‘Please let the passengers off the train first… Please let the passengers off the train first… Please let the passengers off the train first… Let the passengers off the train FIRST!… Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I’m going home.’
• On the Illawarra line (after a 20-minute delay): “I apologise for the delay but the computer controlling the signalling at Sutherland and Hurstville has the Monday Morning Blues”
• At Kogarah: “We can’t move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door”
• At Campbelltown: “Hello this is xxx speaking, I am the captain of your train, and we will be departing shortly, we will be cruising at an altitude of approximately zero feet, and our scheduled arrival time in Central is 3:15pm. The temperature in Central is approximately 15 degrees celsius, and Central is in the same time zone as Campbelltown , so there’s no need to adjust your watches.”

Hee hee. 😀

Anyways, I better start getting ready to leave. Going to try a new dance class tonight – HipHop/Jazz at Dance Kool. Got recommended by some ppl I met at my street funk class as a fast paced, challenging class… sounds like fun! 🙂

Current listening :: “My Prerogative” – Britney Spears

Mini-mini redesign

Just spent the last few hours redesigning my “splash” page. Am quite happy with the result, even though it took friggin ages, and I’m still here at work at 9:30pm coz I kinda got carried away. So much for getting an early night tonight. *sigh* Oh well, clicky here to see the fruits of my labour.

For the observant, I’ve also made another minor change to the rest of the site. Hint: its in the header.

Anyway, waaaay overdue home time. I’m outta here!